The toilet in our main bathroom keeps leaking. It stopped when my father in law was here, but started after he left. I'll have him come over tomorrow to replace or fix whichever part is leaking. I don't think it's what he and the husband think it is. They think it's an internal piece. I'm pretty sure it's the part that comes out of the wall. But what do I know? Even if I'm right, they'll ignore me anyway. That's how it goes. I'm the woman so I can't possibly know what I'm doing when it comes to household repairs.
On a side note, I'm so hungry. Everything we have to eat in the house requires milk, which I don't have. I guess I could make some chicken broth soup stuff but that sounds awful. There's nothing left in the fridge (any leftovers are beyond bad, even the cupcakes have mold) I was going to order a pizza for take out, but realized just how expensive it was for me to get the kind of pizza I want. I don't have friends to call to bring me somewhere real quick. My father in law is probably drunk or asleep. I obviously don't have the car. This seriously sucks.I've been eating caramel dip for some reason. I guess you eat what you can when you're hungry.
I guess I'm going to go and try to fix the damned toilet myself and then play Ever Quest II.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Feeling Lost
I've heard it said that losing a very close friend (i.e. having them abandon you) hurts as much, if not worse than losing a romantic relationship.
I am beginning to understand that. I want to cry but everyone expects me to act like it was nothing and that I'll be fine in a few days, if not in a few hours. I didn't just lose a casual friend. I lost a person who I thought was my best friend down here. I lost someone who I had told my deepest, darkest secrets to. She is who I went to when things got to be too much for me. She was the one keeping me strong when the urge to hurt myself got to be too much. I was the one she went to when she had no where else to go. I was the one she went to when she didn't understand something with her phone. I was the one who never bailed on any plans. Yet here we are. Strangers.
About a month ago she got into an argument with one of her other friends, because the other woman said she was sick but was just saying so to get out of plans. Later the second woman posted something on facebook saying "I hope you have fun with your new friend." It was directed towards me and M*. M* just laughed about it. She promised we'd never end up like that. Yet here I am.
I posted this on my Facebook wall the other day, ""When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."
Henri Nouwen"
I thought she was that kind of friend. I hoped that I was that kind of friend as well. Apparently not. I know I sound like a little middle school girl who just broke up with her first boyfriend, but I really needed a support system for when hubby is off at Basic and AIT for 4 months. Now all I have is his dad, who I really don't get along with very well and get sick of very easily.
Last night I saw a post from another friend, K* my old boss, she went out with some girls. I think I'm going to just stop trying with her as well. I love talking to her, love seeing her for her lunch, but I never see her other than during that time. She's always working, and I feel so bad for how tired she gets. One night when I knew she had a couple days off, I asked if she wanted to come out. She said she doesn't drink much anymore. From the Facebook post, she still does just not with me.
The only real contact I have with my "friends" up north, excluding B* because I still talk to her on the phone and text a lot, is on the internet. Even then we talk for a little bit and then silence for months other than a "like" here or a "share" there.
It's not like I can go out in the afternoon and find some kind of hobby. Hubby needs the car home by 2 in case he has to leave early for work. It's times like this were I just feel hopeless.
I am beginning to understand that. I want to cry but everyone expects me to act like it was nothing and that I'll be fine in a few days, if not in a few hours. I didn't just lose a casual friend. I lost a person who I thought was my best friend down here. I lost someone who I had told my deepest, darkest secrets to. She is who I went to when things got to be too much for me. She was the one keeping me strong when the urge to hurt myself got to be too much. I was the one she went to when she had no where else to go. I was the one she went to when she didn't understand something with her phone. I was the one who never bailed on any plans. Yet here we are. Strangers.
About a month ago she got into an argument with one of her other friends, because the other woman said she was sick but was just saying so to get out of plans. Later the second woman posted something on facebook saying "I hope you have fun with your new friend." It was directed towards me and M*. M* just laughed about it. She promised we'd never end up like that. Yet here I am.
I posted this on my Facebook wall the other day, ""When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."
Henri Nouwen"
I thought she was that kind of friend. I hoped that I was that kind of friend as well. Apparently not. I know I sound like a little middle school girl who just broke up with her first boyfriend, but I really needed a support system for when hubby is off at Basic and AIT for 4 months. Now all I have is his dad, who I really don't get along with very well and get sick of very easily.
Last night I saw a post from another friend, K* my old boss, she went out with some girls. I think I'm going to just stop trying with her as well. I love talking to her, love seeing her for her lunch, but I never see her other than during that time. She's always working, and I feel so bad for how tired she gets. One night when I knew she had a couple days off, I asked if she wanted to come out. She said she doesn't drink much anymore. From the Facebook post, she still does just not with me.
The only real contact I have with my "friends" up north, excluding B* because I still talk to her on the phone and text a lot, is on the internet. Even then we talk for a little bit and then silence for months other than a "like" here or a "share" there.
It's not like I can go out in the afternoon and find some kind of hobby. Hubby needs the car home by 2 in case he has to leave early for work. It's times like this were I just feel hopeless.
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