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In Illinois. Husband's uncle's funeral tomorrow. Having a hard time. Signing on the house this week hopefully. Driving home Saturday. Really stressed and sad. Birthday was ok.

Sad

So I skipped my English class tonight because I'm not feeling that well and I don't have my paper done. I've been playing WoW instead of being productive. All of a sudden a friend (We'll call him Don) logged on. He's been gone for 3 months. I got really worried about him when he wasn't logging on. I was going to email him but I didn't want to seem like a stalker or anything. Well we talked for a couple minutes and he told me that he was quitting the game for good. He said he wasted 2 years on it and figured it was time to stop. He said something about not making any real friends on there anyways. It made me sad. He was one of those people that me and my husband would have loved to hang out with outside of the game. He told me to keep in touch via email and that he would try too. Now I'm really sad. I don't think he meant the friend comment personally but it kind of hurt. I tried being there for him. I loved talking to him. He knew how to cheer me up when I was having an off day and he said that I cheered him up. And of course, me being the over dramatic person that I am, started thinking about my "real friends". I don't really keep in touch with anyone anymore. I got back in touch with some of the girls back home because of a friend's wedding. Others that I've tried to keep in touch with won't return my messages or texts. Am I really that easy to just give up on? Am I really worth that little as a friend that they don't want to put forth the effort to keep in touch? Some people that I thought would never give up on me, won't even talk to me anymore. One of the guy friends that I really cared about didn't even bother to tell me that he was engaged. Maybe it was because the fiance doesn't like me. I don't know. It just hurts. Now I'm digging myself deeper and deeper into my self pity hole. I've been depressed lately and this isn't really helping me any. I just wish someone would fight to stay friends with me and put forth the effort. I've gone up to Michigan 2-3 times now to visit people but no one has even tried to come see me. I understand that I have more means but people aren't even attempting to make plans. They just say "oh yeah. We'll totally come visit." I call BULL#^&*! It isn't going to happen. I just want people to be honest. If you don't want to come visit, don't give me false hope. Just say you don't want to come visit. We'll stop being friends and I can stop trying to keep a dead relationship alive. . . . . Sorry. I needed to rant. Now I'm going to listen to sad music, cry, and write.

Time

So I've got a little spare time right now. I got done with my history test really early so now I have about 40 minutes before my next class. There is a blood drive in the normal sitting area of this building so I'm sitting in the hall outside my class. There's a girl randomly listening to music on her cell phone and singing. It's kind of annoying. I've done all I can for my biology class and I started my English paper. Technically it's due tonight but I'm going to ask him for more time. I've been feeling really sick and I just haven't had the energy or time to write it. Hopefully he'll understand. Oh well. I might as well try to find a scholarly article before the battery on my iPad dies.

Been Kind of blah lately

I've been kind of blah lately. I'm feeling run down again. I'm tired when I get a decent amount of sleep. I don't have any energy. I've been working pretty hard at work but it doesn't seem to be enough for someone to be grateful. I'm doing my best but still they expect more to be done. I can only work so fast. I'm stressing myself out and making myself sick. School isn't going that great either. I'm doing awful in my biology class because I just don't understand the stuff. I'm skipping more and more classes just so I can catch up on sleep. A friend that lives near us (that I haven't talked to in a couple months) is talking to me again. We're going to try and hang out. The hubby and I finally hung out with some people our age this last weekend. We went to a concert thing called Little Big Jam. It was fun and we went with a coworker. It was fun finally socializing with someone near my age. Right now I'm feeling pretty sick. I haven't eaten much today but what I have, is starting to give me heartburn. Oh joy. I'm probably going to skip school again tomorrow since it's already 2 am and my class is at 9. Hopefully our realtor will figure out a time for us to go look at some houses. There are two of them she told us about that we really want to see inside of. Hubby has tests and work tomorrow but the realtor said I could call the guy that's selling one of them and he'd show me it but I really don't want to go alone. Maybe we'll look at them on Wednesday or this weekend. I still have to figure out what my schedule is. Oh well. Time to try and sleep or at least relax and listen to music. G'night.