I'm losing it. I don't know how long I can keep up this facade. Husband has been gone since 2/25. In Des Moines doing trucker training. He'll be home Saturday afternoon until Sunday evening. Then training with another driver. He might be gone just during the week or he might be gone for 2 week stretches. I was ok until people started burdening me with their problems. I have my own crap to deal with. I'm not sleeping. I'm not eating. I barely make it to classes. I've lost almost 8 pounds since he left. I'm falling apart. I told my boss about my situation and she said she would give me the weekend off. What does she turn around and do? Schedule me to work Sat and Sun. It's bull. I'm so close to quitting. My father-in-law already quit. If I had some friends down here that understood me, it might not be so hard but I feel so alone. I'm just going to take some xanax and try to sleep. I'll go in to work tomorrow and talk to my boss and maybe the HR person. The HR lady's husband drove trucks for 30 years. She offered to talk if I needed it and I'm thinking about taking her up on that. I just feel so stressed. I need someone to just look me in the eye, say its going to be ok, and hug me. I can't stop crying and all I can do is think about all the crap I need to do for work and school. I just need time to stop for a while so I can catch up. If it keeps hurting like this, I don't know if I'll survive until I get insurance to get mental help. This really sucks.
