I really don't have much time to update. I've got two and a half assignments to do today. I talked to my SOC teacher and she's giving me about two weeks to write a paper. Then I have to write a page paper on a renaissance piece of art. Then I need to finish my BUS take home test. After that I should start reading the two/three Edgar Allan Poe works that I told my teacher I would. Then there's the last ART test and then the final for my ART class. (So much fun :( )
I'm going to try to finish this thankful thing until the end of the month. So let's try to catch up.
11.20 I am thankful for my wonderful nieces and nephews.
11.21 I am thankful for my sister in law Sarah and the ability to talk to her and feel like I finally have a sister (and one who wants to listen)
11.22 I am thankful that we were able to get so many of my husband's family together (though we missed his sister and her daughter they were in our prayers)
11.23 I am thankful for my teachers who are being more than accommodating with my anxiety and inability to get things done on time (giving me more time and more opportunities to get things situated)
11.24 I am thankful that I am going to be able to get cards for our family members even if we can't get them gifts.
11.25 I am thankful my husband got to spend some time with his mother while he was stopped at a truck stop for the night.
11.26 I am thankful that my mom still wants to get me and my husband little things for the holidays.
11.27 I am thankful my husband's next check is more than we expected and we can cover next weeks bills.
11.28 I am thankful for my father in law bringing some food over (because he knows I don't really have much and was worried about money.)
11.29 I am thankful my father called last night and we had a good conversation
I actually feel really good right now. Ok. Time to stop procrastinating and start working on these assignments.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Meh.
Just meh. Tired, cold, and frustrated with the cat constantly whining.
Hubby went back on the road yesterday morning at about 10am. I've spent the last two days playing Call Of Duty: Black Ops II and watching Dr. Who. My ex boss got in yesterday and went straight to bed. She said she'd talk to me today but I haven't heard from her. I'll send her a text tomorrow asking when she wants me to drop off her key. My husband's friend's girlfriend was supposed to stop by last night (she's driving from MI to FL) but she stopped early. I completely understand being tired and driving. I'm not mad. I'm just alone feeling.
I'm struggling with my weight again. I gained a LOT of weight when I moved into this house. I just can't seem to lose any of it. So now, I'm going to try and fast a little bit before thanksgiving. In the last two weeks I've dropped about 6 lbs. If I can keep this up, I'll be happy. I'm tired of not fitting into my clothes, I'm tired of always being out of energy, I'm tired of getting winded, and I'm tired of comparing myself to my father in law. I'm going to change this. Starting now.
Time for thankfulness
11.16 I am thankful for the ability to play video games and to be able to afford them.
11.17 I am thankful that my father has not started any drama in quite a while.
11.18 I am thankful for a week off school so I can gather myself before the end of the semester.
11.19 I am thankful for my husband's family that will be joining us on Thanksgiving at my father in laws house.
Sort of cynical at times. I'm trying to work on that. Technically I am thankful for all of that. Yeah. I should find something else to do. I know. Typing up more of my book. Manuscript is 106 pages, 35,787 words.
Hubby went back on the road yesterday morning at about 10am. I've spent the last two days playing Call Of Duty: Black Ops II and watching Dr. Who. My ex boss got in yesterday and went straight to bed. She said she'd talk to me today but I haven't heard from her. I'll send her a text tomorrow asking when she wants me to drop off her key. My husband's friend's girlfriend was supposed to stop by last night (she's driving from MI to FL) but she stopped early. I completely understand being tired and driving. I'm not mad. I'm just alone feeling.
I'm struggling with my weight again. I gained a LOT of weight when I moved into this house. I just can't seem to lose any of it. So now, I'm going to try and fast a little bit before thanksgiving. In the last two weeks I've dropped about 6 lbs. If I can keep this up, I'll be happy. I'm tired of not fitting into my clothes, I'm tired of always being out of energy, I'm tired of getting winded, and I'm tired of comparing myself to my father in law. I'm going to change this. Starting now.
Time for thankfulness
11.16 I am thankful for the ability to play video games and to be able to afford them.
11.17 I am thankful that my father has not started any drama in quite a while.
11.18 I am thankful for a week off school so I can gather myself before the end of the semester.
11.19 I am thankful for my husband's family that will be joining us on Thanksgiving at my father in laws house.
Sort of cynical at times. I'm trying to work on that. Technically I am thankful for all of that. Yeah. I should find something else to do. I know. Typing up more of my book. Manuscript is 106 pages, 35,787 words.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Somewhat productive
I've been somewhat protective today.
I got most of this weeks ART assignment done. I have to wait for the teacher to email me back because I wasn't able to watch a video online like she wanted. It will download but it won't play so I went on youtube and found a couple other videos of the artist. I started working on the assignment that is due in two weeks. We don't have anything due next week because of the holiday.
I found some sources for my SOC paper. I'm writing about the BTK killer. I have the title page and the works cited page done but I can't quite figure out how to actually start the paper. This is usually for her CJ class and I'm in the SOC class. The assignment asks to use the book to decide which crime theory best fits the person. I can't do this because I'm not in the CJ class and she told me I didn't need my book. The class I'm in is Juvenile Delinquency so I have to somehow tie in his crimes with a juvenile history. I think I'll start off by describing who he was and what he did, then go into his childhood and explain how if things had been noticed and had some kind of action taken when he was little, he may have turned out otherwise. That's the best way I can think of doing it. I have to make it at least 4 pages other than the title and works cited page. I think I can bs that much. His bio alone should take up at least a page and a half.
For my ENG class we need to have read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle by the week after Thanksgiving. I've already read them both. The teacher gave me a list of things we will be reading when we get back so I can go on and read those when I get bored. Luckily I've already read one of the Poe works. I've probably read most of the other as well.
For my BUS class I really don't have much to do. I can go ahead and read through the chapter and start on the homework but we do it as a class. I've started doing the definitions for the homework. Maybe I'll go and finish those.
I'll continue with my thankfulness thing.
11.14 I am thankful that my husband's job is paying enough to cover the bills we have.
11.15 I am thankful I have the ability to own and drive two cars so I can get to where I need to be.
I'm feeling pretty good right now. The hubby is on his way to Atlanta. This hopefully means he'll be home relatively early or at a decent time tomorrow. I miss him so much.
My ex boss should be coming home some time Sunday night. I tried sweeping out her garage for her but the wind keeps putting new leaves in it. I'm thinking about sweeping her driveway too. I brought her some energy light bulbs since she had quite a few of them out when I was helping her pack last week. I'm trying to think of anything else I can do for her. I feel for her. Her mother passed away on Sunday. I'm trying to do all I can to make it easier when she gets home. She said she was doing ok, but I can't imagine the hurt of losing a parent. No matter how much I say my life would be better without my dad pushing and pulling and making me feel guilty all the time, I don't know how I'd handle him passing. (Though I've thought he was close a couple times.)
Anyways. . . I went from happy to kind of sad. Time to find something else to do. Maybe I'll do some glitter crafts or something. Nothing makes a person smile more than trying to remove a ton of glitter from your hands and hair. :-P
I got most of this weeks ART assignment done. I have to wait for the teacher to email me back because I wasn't able to watch a video online like she wanted. It will download but it won't play so I went on youtube and found a couple other videos of the artist. I started working on the assignment that is due in two weeks. We don't have anything due next week because of the holiday.
I found some sources for my SOC paper. I'm writing about the BTK killer. I have the title page and the works cited page done but I can't quite figure out how to actually start the paper. This is usually for her CJ class and I'm in the SOC class. The assignment asks to use the book to decide which crime theory best fits the person. I can't do this because I'm not in the CJ class and she told me I didn't need my book. The class I'm in is Juvenile Delinquency so I have to somehow tie in his crimes with a juvenile history. I think I'll start off by describing who he was and what he did, then go into his childhood and explain how if things had been noticed and had some kind of action taken when he was little, he may have turned out otherwise. That's the best way I can think of doing it. I have to make it at least 4 pages other than the title and works cited page. I think I can bs that much. His bio alone should take up at least a page and a half.
For my ENG class we need to have read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle by the week after Thanksgiving. I've already read them both. The teacher gave me a list of things we will be reading when we get back so I can go on and read those when I get bored. Luckily I've already read one of the Poe works. I've probably read most of the other as well.
For my BUS class I really don't have much to do. I can go ahead and read through the chapter and start on the homework but we do it as a class. I've started doing the definitions for the homework. Maybe I'll go and finish those.
I'll continue with my thankfulness thing.
11.14 I am thankful that my husband's job is paying enough to cover the bills we have.
11.15 I am thankful I have the ability to own and drive two cars so I can get to where I need to be.
I'm feeling pretty good right now. The hubby is on his way to Atlanta. This hopefully means he'll be home relatively early or at a decent time tomorrow. I miss him so much.
My ex boss should be coming home some time Sunday night. I tried sweeping out her garage for her but the wind keeps putting new leaves in it. I'm thinking about sweeping her driveway too. I brought her some energy light bulbs since she had quite a few of them out when I was helping her pack last week. I'm trying to think of anything else I can do for her. I feel for her. Her mother passed away on Sunday. I'm trying to do all I can to make it easier when she gets home. She said she was doing ok, but I can't imagine the hurt of losing a parent. No matter how much I say my life would be better without my dad pushing and pulling and making me feel guilty all the time, I don't know how I'd handle him passing. (Though I've thought he was close a couple times.)
Anyways. . . I went from happy to kind of sad. Time to find something else to do. Maybe I'll do some glitter crafts or something. Nothing makes a person smile more than trying to remove a ton of glitter from your hands and hair. :-P
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Stomach acid.
Feeling a little sick. Got some stomach acid issue right now. Maybe it's from the stress. My father in law called me yesterday asking when we were planning on telling him 'the news'. I asked him what he was talking about. Evidently people I used to work with are going around congratulating him on being a grandpa again. I'm NOT pregnant. I wish I was, I really do, but I'm NOT. It was a very frustrating conversation trying to tell him that I'm not pregnant. He still doesn't believe me. I even went out and bought some pregnancy tests. I did one yesterday and one this morning. NEGATIVE. It's extremely frustrating right now. I got extremely upset last night while talking on the phone with my husband. And he just let me go to bed crying. I know he was trying to eat and all, but I was crying when we said goodnight. It was exhausting. It's really hard knowing that my friend is pregnant and I'm not. She asked if it was hard talking about it with her. I lied. I said I was ok with it. But I lied because I'm happy for her. I prayed to god, saying that I would willingly be barren for a year if she could keep her next pregnancy. Now she's halfway through a healthy pregnancy. I'm upset that everyone keeps insinuating something about me being pregnant and month after month getting that negative. I was ok for a while, now it's just hard. Let's try to cheer myself up.
11.12 I am thankful that my friend is having a healthy pregnancy.
11.13 I am thankful that I have enough money to eat this week.
I'm starting to feel like I'm stretching it now. This isn't good. Oh well. Time to type up some more of my book.
11.12 I am thankful that my friend is having a healthy pregnancy.
11.13 I am thankful that I have enough money to eat this week.
I'm starting to feel like I'm stretching it now. This isn't good. Oh well. Time to type up some more of my book.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
He's on the road again.
He came home Friday night around 7pm. We went out to dinner then went home. We played video games and were in bed by 10pm. The dog kept fussing and the hubby had the space heater on so I went out and slept on the couch. Didn't get to sleep until 4 then was back up at 8 when hubby got up. Went to the truck to show my father in law it. Then we went out to lunch. We came home and played video games for a little bit. I ordered us some food because we were too lazy to go out and get some. Hubby was zonking out on the couch at 9pm. I tried sleeping in room but once again the dog was fussing and then hubby started snoring. I ended up back on the couch. Got a little more sleep that time. Had to get up at 7 to feed my ex boss's dogs then come home to bring hubby to his truck. Now he's on the road again. I cried. It was hard. Now I'm looking for things to do. I started reading for English. I started researching for my SOC paper. The house is mostly clean. Guess I'll listen to some music then go watch some True Blood.
Let's try to cheer myself up by updating my thankfulness thing.
11.8 I am thankful that my husband got to come home this weekend.
11.9 I am thankful for my SOC teacher understanding my anxiety and letting me write a paper instead of presenting a poster.
11.10 I am thankful for my English teacher for making reading more interesting and also for teaching me how to enhance my memory.
11.11 I am thankful for the guy I once had a class with that now 'guards' me before my English class so the guy that bothers me won't talk to me.
I'm starting to sound pessimistic. I really need some sleep. Maybe I'll be able to take a nap before I have to go back and feed my ex boss's dogs. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow. The college is having a holiday. They're 'celebrating Veteran's Day' on Monday. Weird, but I don't mind because it gives me the ability to sleep and hopefully come up with a better attitude before classes resume.
Let's try to cheer myself up by updating my thankfulness thing.
11.8 I am thankful that my husband got to come home this weekend.
11.9 I am thankful for my SOC teacher understanding my anxiety and letting me write a paper instead of presenting a poster.
11.10 I am thankful for my English teacher for making reading more interesting and also for teaching me how to enhance my memory.
11.11 I am thankful for the guy I once had a class with that now 'guards' me before my English class so the guy that bothers me won't talk to me.
I'm starting to sound pessimistic. I really need some sleep. Maybe I'll be able to take a nap before I have to go back and feed my ex boss's dogs. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow. The college is having a holiday. They're 'celebrating Veteran's Day' on Monday. Weird, but I don't mind because it gives me the ability to sleep and hopefully come up with a better attitude before classes resume.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
A good day
Today has been a pretty good day. My father in law came over and finished putting up the trim. Now I have a lot of puttying and painting up ahead of me. But now I don't have to wait on my father in law to come over to finish it. He took me out to lunch too which was nice considering we have to watch our money and my husband is doing a really crappy job at not spending a ton while he's in little rock.
Hopefully tomorrow my husband will find out if he's coming home this weekend. I really hope he is. I'm really starting to miss him. I'll have my up and down days. Luckily I'm learning how to make myself have good days. But I'm also able to distract myself with school right now. If he doesn't come home this weekend, I'll have a bit of free time on my hands. OK a LOT of free time on my hands. Class is cancelled tomorrow. No classes on Fridays. Saturday and Sunday are weekend. No class on Monday for holiday.
But I did talk to my English teacher tonight about going ahead of the class. He's going to email me the new schedule so I can read other things if I get bored. I'm already ahead of the class. And most of the things on the schedule are something I'm able to find on my kindle for free.
I need to do this weeks art assignment still. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm also going to star figuring out what I want to write my SOC paper on. I'm getting too tired to do it tonight.
On schedule with my thankfulness thingy.
11.7 I am thankful for my father in law and the fact that he helps with the projects around the house that I can't do on my own.
Hopefully tomorrow my husband will find out if he's coming home this weekend. I really hope he is. I'm really starting to miss him. I'll have my up and down days. Luckily I'm learning how to make myself have good days. But I'm also able to distract myself with school right now. If he doesn't come home this weekend, I'll have a bit of free time on my hands. OK a LOT of free time on my hands. Class is cancelled tomorrow. No classes on Fridays. Saturday and Sunday are weekend. No class on Monday for holiday.
But I did talk to my English teacher tonight about going ahead of the class. He's going to email me the new schedule so I can read other things if I get bored. I'm already ahead of the class. And most of the things on the schedule are something I'm able to find on my kindle for free.
I need to do this weeks art assignment still. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm also going to star figuring out what I want to write my SOC paper on. I'm getting too tired to do it tonight.
On schedule with my thankfulness thingy.
11.7 I am thankful for my father in law and the fact that he helps with the projects around the house that I can't do on my own.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Another slow day.
Today is another slow day. I have class tonight (juvenile delinquency) but I don't have to show up if I don't want to. I don't particularly want to but I want something to make the day go by.
Last night my power went out. Luckily I had the power out night lights my mother had sent me right before my birthday. I called her to let her know that they worked wonderfully. It was nice talking to her until she asked if I voted. I reminded her that I couldn't because my address was wrong and I hadn't figured out how to fix it. Plus, if I had voted, I would have voted for the person she was against and it would start some kind of argument. She had "jokingly" said that if I voted for who I wanted to, I would be kept out of the will. Some times, I wonder if she was really joking. She now holds strongly to her husband's beliefs. She doesn't have her own anymore. She raised me to believe in doing good for others. Now all she cares about is businesses over people. It's frustrating but it's what she believes. I try my best to just not talk about it.
Luckily I found my books for my English class on my Kindle. I was so excited. I've started reading The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. At least that is helping me pass the time. I'm still not sure if I have my English class tomorrow or not. I guess I should email my teacher and ask.
I have a 'friend' on facebook that is doing a daily post on what she's thankful for. I don't really want to do one on facebook because there are some people that would say something about the things and I just don't have energy to explain myself. So, I'll try to do something on here. I may not update every day, but I'll make sure I catch up when I do post.
11.1 I am thankful for my loving husband and all the things he does for me.
11.2 I am thankful for my wonderful pets and the smiles they bring to my face.
11.3 I am thankful for having my own house that I can afford to own.
11.4 I am thankful for having the ability to pay my bills and heat my house.
11.5 I am thankful for my husband's job allowing me to focus on school.
11.6 I am thankful for my ex-boss and knowing that I can go to her if I need anything.
That actually made me feel a little better. It's a good thing to take inventory of the great and wonderful things you have in your life. I heard it somewhere that for every negative thing you think, you need 7 positive things to counteract. I never really believed that making a list of things that you're thankful for would be easy, or good, but it is. It's relieving.
So, I'm off to look up some more music, then either read more for English or start my SOC paper.
Last night my power went out. Luckily I had the power out night lights my mother had sent me right before my birthday. I called her to let her know that they worked wonderfully. It was nice talking to her until she asked if I voted. I reminded her that I couldn't because my address was wrong and I hadn't figured out how to fix it. Plus, if I had voted, I would have voted for the person she was against and it would start some kind of argument. She had "jokingly" said that if I voted for who I wanted to, I would be kept out of the will. Some times, I wonder if she was really joking. She now holds strongly to her husband's beliefs. She doesn't have her own anymore. She raised me to believe in doing good for others. Now all she cares about is businesses over people. It's frustrating but it's what she believes. I try my best to just not talk about it.
Luckily I found my books for my English class on my Kindle. I was so excited. I've started reading The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. At least that is helping me pass the time. I'm still not sure if I have my English class tomorrow or not. I guess I should email my teacher and ask.
I have a 'friend' on facebook that is doing a daily post on what she's thankful for. I don't really want to do one on facebook because there are some people that would say something about the things and I just don't have energy to explain myself. So, I'll try to do something on here. I may not update every day, but I'll make sure I catch up when I do post.
11.1 I am thankful for my loving husband and all the things he does for me.
11.2 I am thankful for my wonderful pets and the smiles they bring to my face.
11.3 I am thankful for having my own house that I can afford to own.
11.4 I am thankful for having the ability to pay my bills and heat my house.
11.5 I am thankful for my husband's job allowing me to focus on school.
11.6 I am thankful for my ex-boss and knowing that I can go to her if I need anything.
That actually made me feel a little better. It's a good thing to take inventory of the great and wonderful things you have in your life. I heard it somewhere that for every negative thing you think, you need 7 positive things to counteract. I never really believed that making a list of things that you're thankful for would be easy, or good, but it is. It's relieving.
So, I'm off to look up some more music, then either read more for English or start my SOC paper.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Bored
So bored. Time has been going really slow. I was up before my alarm today (7am). It was kind of nice. I didn't really like being up that early but it was nice not dragging my butt out of bed to rush and get ready for school. Got to class and realized we had a test and if I took it today, I don't have to show up Wednesday. That was kind of awesome. Like usual, I was the first one done. That's never a good feeling. When I got out, it was too early to run any of the errands that I needed to get done. Around 10 I went out, deposited the birthday check from my dad, got stamps, and got a couple snack foods from the dollar store. (Dollar is a very odd word. It took three tries to type it. It still doesn't look right. I really think I'm going mad.) I sprayed the carpet, couch, dog beds, and my bed for fleas. I vacuumed the floor and then cleaned out the vacuum. I was hoping it would be later than it is. I tried writing some more of my book but only got about 2 pages written. At least I filled the gap I was missing (description of a condo). Now I guess I'll go read Rip Van Winkle early for my English class. (Or at least get started reading it.) I really wish it was later. I don't really want to take my English test, but I just want today to be done with. OOO. Maybe I should start doing research for my paper for my SOC class. (The only assignment I have to do.) But I don't know who to do it on. (Some famous criminal and link it to a juvenile aspect.)
Sunday, November 4, 2012
I'm ok
For now. My father in a law came over yesterday and helped put up some of the trim. He is supposed to come over today to help finish it but I'm not sure if he will. I "fixed" the patch of ceiling in the kitchen that had been torn when we had a lot of rain a couple months back. By fixed, I mean I glued the pieces back. You can still see that it's torn and broken but at least it isn't hanging down any longer.
I'm finally letting the dog sleep in the bed with me again. I had started making her sleep in her cage in the living room because I was having nightmares and I would wake up swinging. I didn't want to hurt her so I had her sleep somewhere else. After all the weird sounds and strange cologne smells, I decided to let her back into the room at night. I still leave the lava lamp on until I get tired enough to sleep, and I still turn on some relaxing music to help. I'm trying to wean myself from taking xanax to get to sleep. I need it to survive my classes more than to sleep. The zzquil stuff works pretty good when taken in excess.
I'm really bored right now (what's new). I was able to write 12 pages of my book last night. I don't really have the energy to type it all up yet though. I'm at 83 typed pages for my manuscript. I'm not nearly where I want to be with it but it's getting there. I figured it would be best to start with too much detail and be able to cut some of it out, than to not have enough detail and then have to force detail. I've been trying to get people to help me edit or give feedback. One girl loves it and says it's better than twilight. (She's only 15) My husband hasn't gotten past the first page. My ex boss said she would look through it but she hasn't given me her actual email address and she seems pretty overloaded with work. A couple other people from deviantArt said they would help. The only response I get is "It's really good. I wouldn't change a thing." I know I don't take constructive criticism well, but I was thinking at least someone would say something about grammar or anything. There's no way this book is that good that nothing can be changed. Even if there is no grammar errors, I'd like some kind of specific feedback,. like what they liked, what they didn't like. One person said that they were able to connect with the main character and was able to feel what she felt. That's it. I know I'm asking for a lot, but I just want someone to help me through this process. I understand that people are busy but those that volunteer, or even ask if they can help, I need something more than a 'good job'.
Ok. Done ranting. I think. For now. I should just go play some video games. I made meat and potatoes for lunch. It was delicious but now I feel sluggish. Yeah, definitely video game time.
I'm finally letting the dog sleep in the bed with me again. I had started making her sleep in her cage in the living room because I was having nightmares and I would wake up swinging. I didn't want to hurt her so I had her sleep somewhere else. After all the weird sounds and strange cologne smells, I decided to let her back into the room at night. I still leave the lava lamp on until I get tired enough to sleep, and I still turn on some relaxing music to help. I'm trying to wean myself from taking xanax to get to sleep. I need it to survive my classes more than to sleep. The zzquil stuff works pretty good when taken in excess.
I'm really bored right now (what's new). I was able to write 12 pages of my book last night. I don't really have the energy to type it all up yet though. I'm at 83 typed pages for my manuscript. I'm not nearly where I want to be with it but it's getting there. I figured it would be best to start with too much detail and be able to cut some of it out, than to not have enough detail and then have to force detail. I've been trying to get people to help me edit or give feedback. One girl loves it and says it's better than twilight. (She's only 15) My husband hasn't gotten past the first page. My ex boss said she would look through it but she hasn't given me her actual email address and she seems pretty overloaded with work. A couple other people from deviantArt said they would help. The only response I get is "It's really good. I wouldn't change a thing." I know I don't take constructive criticism well, but I was thinking at least someone would say something about grammar or anything. There's no way this book is that good that nothing can be changed. Even if there is no grammar errors, I'd like some kind of specific feedback,. like what they liked, what they didn't like. One person said that they were able to connect with the main character and was able to feel what she felt. That's it. I know I'm asking for a lot, but I just want someone to help me through this process. I understand that people are busy but those that volunteer, or even ask if they can help, I need something more than a 'good job'.
Ok. Done ranting. I think. For now. I should just go play some video games. I made meat and potatoes for lunch. It was delicious but now I feel sluggish. Yeah, definitely video game time.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Slope
On the slope downward. During the week I have school work to keep me busy. Then there is the house to clean, bills to pay, class to go to. Now it's Friday and I have a whole weekend alone ahead of me. I feel so low, I can't bring myself to clean (besides there's not much I can do until the hubby get's his mini fridge and microwave in his truck). I'm caught up with school work. I can't focus long enough to read or play a video game. All I feel like doing is crying for no reason.
Yesterday I went to lunch with my ex boss. It was nice being around another human. When I left, after saying hi to some other people, I drove around aimlessly for a while. I kept stopping on the side of the road to take pictures of random things. Luckily no one stopped to try and help me (I had my hazard lights on). I want to go through the pictures but my mind just won't focus.
Now all I want to do is listen to sad music and cry. I know it's not good to listen to sad music when you're sad, but it's all I can seem to do. I don't have anyone else to talk to or hang out with. I don't have the money to go out to the bar. I'm stuck in the house. I can't clean outside because there's a swarm of lady bugs, or whatever they're called, around my house. At least it's warm out..
So, since I don't know what to do, I guess I'll just go lay on the couch and listen to music. Fun day.
:-(
Yesterday I went to lunch with my ex boss. It was nice being around another human. When I left, after saying hi to some other people, I drove around aimlessly for a while. I kept stopping on the side of the road to take pictures of random things. Luckily no one stopped to try and help me (I had my hazard lights on). I want to go through the pictures but my mind just won't focus.
Now all I want to do is listen to sad music and cry. I know it's not good to listen to sad music when you're sad, but it's all I can seem to do. I don't have anyone else to talk to or hang out with. I don't have the money to go out to the bar. I'm stuck in the house. I can't clean outside because there's a swarm of lady bugs, or whatever they're called, around my house. At least it's warm out..
So, since I don't know what to do, I guess I'll just go lay on the couch and listen to music. Fun day.
:-(
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Preparing
Preparing for a long, lonely weekend. Hubby is still in Little Rock for training. I haven't heard from him all day. Yesterday he seemed happy about driving one of the trucks. When I talked to him before bed, he sounded exhausted. Today he becomes an official employee of the company. He will start hands on tarp training tomorrow until some time around next Thursday. I'm not sure what happens then. I don't know if he'll be getting his truck and a load, or just getting a truck and coming home. I truly hope he gets to come home but he isn't really talkative about plans. He'll get on a kick about talking about what he learned or what he's going to do (go to store, do laundry, etc.) but he's awful when it comes to telling me specific details about days and such. I understand he probably doesn't know about next weekend but he should have some idea of when his next training is and how long it will run.
Oh well. I guess I'm going to go back to working on my book. I've typed up 70 pages of my manuscript so far and I've got a couple more to catch up on. My ex-boss agreed to help read over it if she got free time. (She's really busy at work since they're doing all of the pre-Christmas setup stuff.) I'm really intrigued to see what she says about it. I would have my English teacher read it but he doesn't seem the type to like fantasy. Maybe I'll ask him after the test next week.
He did say he would look over the list of quotes I made for our test and email me back letting me know what he thought of them. I really hope he likes them, it may help me if I mess up on the test.
So yeah, I'm drawing this out. I've got nothing really to do. I went to lunch with my ex boss and talked to a couple people that I used to work with. Even after, I still have way too much free time. If I get bored enough, I guess I can go play video games but they just don't sound that appealing. Time to take a xanax and work on my book then.
Oh well. I guess I'm going to go back to working on my book. I've typed up 70 pages of my manuscript so far and I've got a couple more to catch up on. My ex-boss agreed to help read over it if she got free time. (She's really busy at work since they're doing all of the pre-Christmas setup stuff.) I'm really intrigued to see what she says about it. I would have my English teacher read it but he doesn't seem the type to like fantasy. Maybe I'll ask him after the test next week.
He did say he would look over the list of quotes I made for our test and email me back letting me know what he thought of them. I really hope he likes them, it may help me if I mess up on the test.
So yeah, I'm drawing this out. I've got nothing really to do. I went to lunch with my ex boss and talked to a couple people that I used to work with. Even after, I still have way too much free time. If I get bored enough, I guess I can go play video games but they just don't sound that appealing. Time to take a xanax and work on my book then.
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