Writing

I've started writing again. Sort of. Well it's really late at night and I can't think of anything to do so I just start writing. Somehow everything ends up some kind of fan fiction. I'm trying to steer away from all of that so I can try to get something published. I sort of finished my one book but I want to go through and edit it. I think I need to print it off and have something to write on but it's really long. Like almost 200 pages long. I'll have to find somewhere cheap to have it printed. I guess I should google that. I just am so scared to have it finalized and sent off to publishing companies. I want it published but I'm so afraid of what others will think of it. I guess I shouldn't care and just write for myself and see if anyone likes it. If not, no harm done. Right? I hope so. Tonight I started another piece. It's rather dark so far. I just don't know what direction I want it to go. I want to find writing groups. I tried looking for something on meetup.com but everything is so far away and I'm a little scared of meeting new people. I don't really trust the online communities either. I'm afraid of them plagiarizing my stuff. I don't know what to do. Oh well. Off to look for somewhere to print my book.