Stomach acid.

Feeling a little sick. Got some stomach acid issue right now. Maybe it's from the stress. My father in law called me yesterday asking when we were planning on telling him 'the news'. I asked him what he was talking about. Evidently people I used to work with are going around congratulating him on being a grandpa again. I'm NOT pregnant. I wish I was, I really do, but I'm NOT. It was a very frustrating conversation trying to tell him that I'm not pregnant. He still doesn't believe me. I even went out and bought some pregnancy tests. I did one yesterday and one this morning. NEGATIVE. It's extremely frustrating right now. I got extremely upset last night while talking on the phone with my husband. And he just let me go to bed crying. I know he was trying to eat and all, but I was crying when we said goodnight. It was exhausting. It's really hard knowing that my friend is pregnant and I'm not. She asked if it was hard talking about it with her. I lied. I said I was ok with it. But I lied because I'm happy for her. I prayed to god, saying that I would willingly be barren for a year if she could keep her next pregnancy. Now she's halfway through a healthy pregnancy. I'm upset that everyone keeps insinuating something about me being pregnant and month after month getting that negative. I was ok for a while, now it's just hard. Let's try to cheer myself up.

11.12 I am thankful that my friend is having a healthy pregnancy.
11.13 I am thankful that I have enough money to eat this week.


I'm starting to feel like I'm stretching it now. This isn't good. Oh well. Time to type up some more of my book.